Monday, April 24, 2006

Learn as you go.

There are things we learn in life that are wrong and things we should know but just don’t. It is kind of like being in a conversation with someone thinking full well you are on the same page with them, then moments later you realize, "I have no idea what this person is talking about." These moments of realization are defining for me. In this split second moment of comprehension, I see what I thought was right really was wrong. Here are a few examples of these precious (I'm a moron) moments.

I was looking out my sliding glass window and saw a backhoe in the distance, and asked my wife what it was called. I thought they were called vackos for some reason and yet in the back of my mind that didn’t seem right. She said it is a backhoe which made total sense. It has a giant hoe and it faces back word thus being called a backhoe. WOW, what a concept!!

About six months ago I found out that calick isn’t the right word for describing “A projecting tuft of hair on the head that grows in a different direction from the rest of the hair and will not lie flat.”* It is cowlick; I only realized this truth when my wife enunciated the word. Notice a common theme with my wife and words I thought I knew.

I was teaching a gospel essentials class at church with about ten people in attendance. I said some thing like “we shouldn’t do things half asked.” The real phrase is half-assed and I used it at church in front of newly baptized members and investigators. You should have seen the look on their faces. Enough of them had the “OH MY GOSH!” look that I stopped the lesson and asked what was wrong. A sister missionary asked, “Did you say what we thought you said?” I proceeded to tell them what I thought the word was and they imparted unto me the correct doctrine of my so called half-asked. The class knew it was an honest mistake and we all laughed. The truth is the only time the word ass can be used in church or home and be ok is when the scriptures are being read out loud. Try this, read Mosiah 12:5 at home or church and see what happens.

So there are a few things I should have known but just didn’t. There is one more thing I wish I knew, what does ESPN stand for? Now your turn, what are some things in your life you have learned later you should have known sooner?

*The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition


Kristen J said...

How bout this one Spencer: More cushion for the pushin. Do you remember how you found out what that one means?

Don't feel bad. I used the term "deep throat" in a room full of guys. I got the "I don't think that means what you think it means" treatment!

It was very embarrassing.

Spencer J said...

Yes, I remember how I learned that one. Not a high point in my life.

Geoffy G said...

Everything Sports Pulosi Network.
Yeah, that's it.

As far as phrases or words: I once said "Holy Crap!"* to the bishop at youth conference up at Palomar Mountain when I dropped my marshmallow for SMORES in the fire. I thought that the "holy" of it balanced out the "crap" of it.

* The crap was an a lot worse word.

Perhaps I will share a real one when I think of it.