Ok, I need to expose a secret plan to take over the family. Ian, my big younger brother, has a friend who seems to be around often and when I say often I mean a lot. I first met her at the beach around Easter. I saw her for about 7.46 minutes and that was about it. In those few minutes I found out that she had already met my brother and his family in Arizona. I think she had a wedding to go to and Ian went along. Then I found out that Ian and her went up to Utah for General Conference and stayed at my other older brother’s house while up there. On Mother’s Day she was at my parent’s house eating dinner with my family who lives here in town. This gave her yet another opportunity to meet a brother and my parents.
Today, I went surfing with my big younger brother and guess who was there? That is right, Ian and his friend. You know, up to this point I never thought twice about her meeting so many of my siblings, but that changed after I heard her say one thing to me.
As I walked up to them on the beach the first thing that came out of her mouth was, “Your sister is really nice.” It was at this point I realized something was wrong. She has met almost all my family except one brother. There are seven kids in my family and they are spread throughout Northern California, Idaho, Utah, Arizona, and San Diego. That is a lot of ground to cover if you didn’t have an ulterior motive. After hours of pondering and contemplating, I know what she is doing. I think she has been slowly collecting some article from each of the siblings for one sole purpose. She is going to work some freaky mumbo jumbo with these things and take over all of our brains. She is going to make us think our last name is SARAHSTON. I know this is a radical idea, but why else has she seen more of my siblings then I have in the last two months?
2 comments:
She's on a time crunch. She needs to collect specimen from your family because she wants to create another Jahnston family. When you saw her did she try to get you to swab the inside of your mouth with a q-tip-like instrument? If not did you catch her taking a hair off your shoulder? She was sollecting DNA from you somehow. That explains why she has been to your other siblings HOUSE. She is collecting hair from their tub/shower drain. She might just be harvesting clones of your family until "they" show up and steal your family away for their planets Thanksgiving feast. This occasion is marked by the traditional breaking of the collarbone (very traditional) and tioasting with a mug of steaming Johnston blood. The Johnston's in Ontarion, Canada were last year's celebration of the planet noiZ' independance from the slacilegnavE Has she been bringing lots of doughy foods over? That is to fatten you up. If not, they must be dieting on noiZ.
OK I have entirely too much time and weird imgination stuff on my hands.
Now that you mention it Geoff G, I do remember her sticking a Q-tip in my dinner when I first met her. I never thought that was weird until just now....
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